Un-naturalization*

I grew up in Canada where I had a pretty blissful life. At the age of 23 I followed my parents to the US and settled in Buffalo, New York.  I have had a wonderful and fulfilling life here and I cannot say enough about the people that live in my community. Up until recently I've only felt conflicted about my nationality loyalty during the Winter Olympics or perhaps a Sabres/Maple Leaf hockey game. But, since the administration changed** in the White House this year, I am having serious doubts about whether I threw my lot in with the right country. 

Moving back to Canada is fraught with issues because most of my family live here in the states (including my new granddaughter) and I could never leave them.  Plus, I'm not sure if, in the process of leaving the US, I would automatically become 'un-naturalized' - which sounds really creepy and kind of like an episode of Severance.  Although, I'm not sure if I'd want my severed Innie to live in the US or Canada...but I digress.  So, instead of planning a major upheaval (and effectively leaving Bill, my husband who has no immigration status in Canada) I have decided to develop strategies to manage my level of (in)sanity until Trump is out of office . Yes, I look at this countdown on a regular basis.

I was advised by a few friends to simply "tune out" - that is, not listen to the news and live in a state of oblivion for 4 years. I can't do that. I tried it and it lasted less than a day. I'm a podcast freak and a tv news show nut (shout out to my favorite Fareed Zakaria).  I understand why people go 'off the grid' and leave it all behind, but it's just not an option for me (see note about my family commitments above). Ditto on staying off social media. I've tried weaning myself off Facebook and Instagram, but I am too weak. 

So, when I'm overcome with crippling anxiety regarding, say, Trumpian foreign relations, I have resorted to a tried-and-true remedy that I developed as a 4-year-old. I call it "scream therapy":   I open the door to the basement, lean back and yell at the top of my lungs. Very therapeutic. It worked quite well when I wasn't allowed to go on a sleep- over, or when the bully on my street wouldn't let me pass on the sidewalk. Decades later I've used it when Trump suggested Canada become the 51st state, Gaza transform itself into a Trump resort, and when he and JD Vance gaslit Zelensky.  However, the release of tension only lasts a short while. But if you need a quick fix you might want to try it.  N.B. - popping in a throat lozenge immediately after soothes the pain. 

One of my less dramatic coping mechanisms is bird watching. I don't actually go on treks with binoculars - I watch from the comfort of my house.  I have 4 feeders that I fill on a regular basis. I've placed them so I can view the birds' activity from a number of vantage points. The feeders attract blue jays, cardinals, titmouses (titmice?), goldfinches, chickadees, wrens, nuthatches, creepers, sparrows, and woodpeckers. Unfortunately, it also attracts massive numbers of squirrels, deer (who empty the feeder in about 3 minutes) and the watchful eyes of sharp shinned hawks. Not only does this activity calm my nerves, but it also reminds me that real life continues despite what's going on in the White House.

But the best method of quelling my anxiety is to hold our new granddaughter. I've read that cuddling a baby releases oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins and perhaps even a bit of dopamine.  That all spells b-l-i-s-s to me.  I am so lucky that the birth of this wonderful wee girl closely coincided with Trump's inauguration. Not only do I have a constant source of real joy, but also a beautiful reminder that life does go on. 

Now, some of you may say: what the heck? This blog was just an elaborate ruse for Liz to shamelessly brag about her adorable new granddaughter and posts a super cute photo. Ha... maybe! But, I'm not that clever. My reason is simple: writing is another way to relieve tension and work through issues and I've sorely missed using this medium to alleviate some of my worries. 

So, if you suffer as I do, think of this blog as a PSA. Try scream therapy or birdwatching or writing or, if you are lucky enough to have a newborn in your life, hugging.  And let me know if it helps.  

And if you don't have a baby, hug your mate, your kids, your pals, your neighbors or even the Amazon delivery guy (maybe especially the Amazon delivery guy because he brings pure joy with every package... right?). It'll do you both a world of good.  And, it's the most natural thing in the world. 

 * I am a citizen of both the US and Canada; Canada by birth and US by naturalization.

** I don't care how you voted this year.  Democracy requires participation and I'm thankful that you exercised your right even if you didn't vote the same way I did.